Friday, July 25, 2014

25 July 2014

Hello lovlies!

This is an update!
Over the last few months, I have been going through some depression and stuff. I lost my boyfriend, we broke up, and we tried to fix things, but it didn't work out. I  have come to a realization about myself, though it is not competely my fault why I am the way I am in relationships. It comes from being taught a certain way about how relationships function. But, if you wish to read that, hop over to Tumblr and read that post.

The good news is though: I am willing to work on that. I am going to therapy starting 29 July. I am going to get help as a way to overcome the past abuse from my mom. And to help rewire the way I come at relationships. Not only that, but I am also going to just get help with my self-esteem and depression and anxiety. It's about time I make this change for myself, so I can stop being a victim of baseless abuse from the one woman that made my life a living hell for 13+ years of my life.

On to more happy things in my life:

I am currently in Tulsa, Oklahoma visiting my sis and bro. Though, sis is at work and bro is MIA (AKA doing gaming stuff). SO I am babysitting my niece and nephews (AKA sis and bro's ferrets) and blogging/Facebooking.

Over the past few months, I have gained and lost 10 pounds. I am fluctuating again because of depression and drama. Hopefully I will be getting better, though I don't think heavy exercising is a good idea :(

I lost enough weight to fit int my smaller jean shorts and a top that I couldn't even fit into. So I am looking forward to fitting into my other top I couldn't fit into when I bought it. The shirt I couldn't fit into when I bought it (for 50cents) was a White House/Black Market corset-like top. But I fit in it now, so yeah. I am a happy camper.

This is an outfit I wore to the farmers' market last week. That is the top mentioned above. My homemade 'd.i.a.' chain is hanging for my hip as well.

I recently dyed my hair as well.

Here is the dye I have been using since my roots started growing out a few months ago (when it was blonde roots meets black everywhere else). I saw this color and I was just in love with it. So as my roots grow out (I wait until like, 1-2 inches of new growth) I dye them red, until eventually I will be an all over readhead.

This is a recent purchase. The entire outfit was 10.62USD at Forever 21. I bought it for a school tour, but I didn't get to go because by the time I was to go to the school, my depression had set in and my back was hurting something awful. But this set is absolutely beautiful. I plan on wearing it out sometime soon because I have the perfect shoes to wear with it.

A few weeks ago, I house/dog sat at my dad's coworker/friend's house. This is Bailey (named after the liquor) and Violet. They are still puppies so they are really active.

On 28 June, I went to Pridefest in Downtown St. Louis. I wore a Deadmau5 bikini top and pink yoga shorts (it was hot as hell that day) with a lace top over it and my collar.

This is a cute V-neck top that my now ex bought me when we first were dating and living together. He got it because it thought it would be cute if I had a Green Eggs and Ham shirt because my name is Sam. So recently, I took a pair of scissors to it and wove the back into this look. The picture makes it look like shit, though.

This is another shirt from the relationship, though this is from Valentine's Day. I bought him and I matching super hero shirts (he had a blue Superman and I had a purple Supergirl with silver sparkles) and matching boxers (black silk with kissy marks on them) for sleepwear. After a few weeks, I took scissors to mine and I made it into a low backed muscle-like braided tank top.

This is a recent outfit that I wore. I got the white shorts at Ross for like 6USD and the top was 3USD at Goodwill. The shoes are what I got from DressLink.com. I wore my hair in twintails to see how they would look, and then I decided I need to cosplay The New 52 Harley Quinn.

This was right before I dyed my hair. I was playing with styles for shits and giggles. Ignore the kissy face...

This is actually from today. I went to this tattoo and piercing place to get my late birthday present: A nose ring! I am so happy with it! I got a green stud to match my green belly ring I wear all the time. This is my very first facial piercing and I am in love! I am looking forward to my couple piercings (cartilage and helix piercings).

That is all for today. I will be uploading in the next few days about my style change and what I plan on doing (possibly) with my future. I am looking forward to being home though.

I love you all!

Samantha.

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